How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
