she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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