The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
