That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
