Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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