it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
