Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
