I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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