adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
