how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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