sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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