It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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