Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
