Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
