Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
