I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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