all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize