How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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