I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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