the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
