everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
