If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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