But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
