your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I did not marry a roomba.
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