just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
