My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
