I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
