just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
