So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I forgot wine drunk hurts
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
