Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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