Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
