so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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