I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
