Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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