The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
