NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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