Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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