That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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