guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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