I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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