I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
