She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
