I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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