Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
send nudes
from the living room?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
