you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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