i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
