we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
