Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize