don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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