don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
is it fun? or sober?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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