She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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