I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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