Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We got so high we made milksteak
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
