Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
