I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
