yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
it was like eating out sand paper
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
