I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
