My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
