Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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