Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
