Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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