Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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