soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
