He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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