Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i dont even know how to be here
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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