Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
